Grown Up Broken Hearts

Disclaimer: Fostering is not a cause. I was naive to think so when I started this blog. Fostering is a mission field for the whole family.

I would buy eyedrops that keep my eyes from rolling. I would use them every time I am in a public situation. Here's why. When people find out we are a foster family, they inevitably make the same comment everyone before them made. "I don't know how you do it. I would get so attached." I usually just reply with something uber-spiritual about how God gives us what we need to get through each situation, yawn yawn yawn. And while I do believe that, what my heart is screaming at people (and why I need the eye drops) is this:

Why are you more concerned about breaking your grown-up heart than you are about changing the life of a parentless, neglected, or abused child? So you invite a broken child into your stable (or rocky, 'cause none are perfect) home, show him who Jesus is, what family is, what healthy means. Give him confidence and faith in God to face a difficult life ahead or avoid a sad, broken, grown-up heart. Are you made of glass? Or is the "I would get too attached" reason a touchy-feely excuse for a bigger fear?

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can with Christ. But better yet, I WILL with Christ. There is so much we CAN do with Christ, but we just don't. For whatever lame reason or grown-up excuse, we have decided our families are better off padded-room-protected, avoiding any serious difficulties.

Disclaimer 2. Please see my heart. It isn't to guilt people, only to inspire people to reach out to these broken kids and at the same time give our own kids a bigger story to be a part of.

What are your foster fears?

21 Fosters later...

DOGS that is! The KY Great Dane Rescue has had the privilege of saving the lives of 21 Great Danes from KY, OH and TN from the day we started in October 2011. Our family has personally fostered 1/3 of them.
Sometimes it gets very wild and busy. And sometimes the rescue takes over our time and takes time away from other things. I asked the kids this week if they want me to stop rescuing and they all shouted No! They said they love all of the fosters we have had and love helping the danes. They see it as their mission too which makes me so proud.
I hope that the emergency surgeries, dramatic rescues from shelter death-rows, healings, bonding and ultimately adoptions are giving them a big story to be a part of. I once heard Andy Stanley's talk about giving your kids big stories to be a part of because if we don't someone will. Someone someday will have a big, exciting, ungodly story they want my children to be in and I must have a better one to capture their imagination and make the other story look like what it is, a scam. Drugs, sex and partying will look really inviting if the home-story is lame.

So while I hate to see these emaciated, sick or injured Great Danes suffer, I am SO grateful my family can be a part of their story.

The "A" Word

Social workers are saying it. Lawyers are saying it. My husband is saying it. I'm still not comfortable using that word but "if the cool kids do it, why not me" right? Adoption. I'm actually more comfortable with the OTHER A word.
My thoughts on adopting Swagger and Tirion are still a little muddled right now. They want to be returned to their dad. They hope for it. They wait for it. I'm not ok with being the dagger to their dreams.
Consider this post a preview of a future post. I'll post more as the adoption part of our journey progresses.

"Name Your Child Likes to be Called" line

Tonight is open house! I LOVE elementary school open houses! Maybe because I'm way too involved with my kids' lives and this is the only chance I get to see all of their classmates and parents in one place to see who is influencing my child from 8am to 3pm every day. Open house is like crack to an addict for OCD parents. I truly despise all of the emergency cards I have to fill out though. Seriously! That's taking away my allotted time to tell these teachers how lucky they are to have a Harrison in their classes. Geesh.
Speaking of filling out security and info cards. My son from another mama, literally, wanted his new name on his card. The whole school calling him "confidence" by faith is A-Ok with me! You'll think I made this name up, but no, it was actually a name and could not have been more suited to my formerly shy, sullen, withdrawn 8 year old boy whose new name is...Swagger! Yes, Swagger. He loves it! So Swagger enters the 3rd grade this week with a whole world of possibilities that come with being confident and self-assured. He already has the compassion of Mother Teresa, the generosity of Rick Warren, and is in a gentleness class of his own. I'm believing God that Swagger's new confidence makes him a leader to inspire a trend of compassionate, generous and gentle elementary school students.

A couple of weeks ago. The big kids were at a summer camp. Karima was being picked on by a rude, obnoxious, little girl and it was Swagger who stepped in and told the girl to leave Karima alone and apologize. The world needs more kids like Swagger and Karima and Tirion.

Romans 4:17-18

The Message (MSG)

 ^17-18We call Abraham "father" not because he got God's attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn't that what we've always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, "I set you up as father of many peoples"? Abraham was first named "father" and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, "You're going to have a big family, Abraham!"

Ranaming Your Older Child

So renaming my older kids has been a little harder than I thought. They love the idea of a new name, unfortunately they have more opinions than a 2 year old. Renaming Rainey (age 7) has been a challenge of monumental proportions and, in fact, as I write this we have yet to agree on a single name. Not even one! If the name hasn't been in a Barbie movie, she doesn't want it. No wonder the hospital forced me to name her the first time before I was discharged, they must have known how opinionated she would be. I know what name she needs, however, I don't want to "exasperate my child" by calling her something that makes her angry or frustrated with me.
I'm having to get creative with my strategy for calling her by faith.When I speak about Rainey to my family or even to some of you I will call her both Asana (calm) and Karima (generous). But most importantly I'm praying out loud for her and talking to the Lord about His daughter Asana Karima. I hope she starts to like the name, but really it doesn't matter.

That's my strategy for now. Strategy's are made to be improved on though, so I'll update soon.

Please post if you are renaming your child. I would love to partner with you in this faith challenge.


Call those things which be not as though they were. Roman 4:17

Rename Your Child: part 2

Quay and Rainey are in Florida with D right now. I cant wait to tell them their new nicknames and why we are going to speak in faith to each other.

Abram was old, great grand-father old, and had never been a dad. He and his wife wanted kids more than anything. Of course she too was grannyish so their circumstances were the kind that didnt leave much room for hope. God made a promise to Abram that he would be a dad and changed his name to Abraham, which means father of many nations. Imagine being a childless person and everywhere you go, church, Wal-mart, the gym, people call you Father of a Football Team or Mother of Many. God gave Abram a name to remind him that the desire of his heart would come true. A name of faith, not circumstance.

I'm going to give D and the kids a chance to name me. I hope they take it easy on me.

Have you renamed your kids yet? I can't wait to hear what they are!

Rename Your Child

Picture me knocked down but getting back up. 2 posts back I laid out my plan to shape our kids' future by the words I spoke about them in faith. I epically failed in that task for our 2 year old. Her nickname around here has been Hot Sauce for months. She got the name one weekend when we were all camping and she just wouldn't be good for even a minute. I said, "your mom must have eaten a lot of hot sauce when she was pregnant with you" and the name just stuck. I actually described her to her attorney/guardian last week as the worst 2 year old we have ever met. No wonder things weren't improving! No wonder my patience and vision for her future were getting blurry at best! *insert slap on forehead here*
I am renaming her. What she needs most is gentleness and kindness. I Googled names that mean gentle and kind. As of last night, her new nick name is Tirion! Yes, I know, not the cutest name ever, but at this point cute is entirely irrelevant. Tirion means kind and gentle. Perfect!
And before you start sending me Facebook private messages about how I can't change a child's name, she is still called (can't tell you, against foster care rules) her real name most often. Parents call their kids goofy nicknames like Honey, Ladybug, Pooh Bear, Sissy and Rainey's nickname Rainbow, that don't mean anything significant at all. I'm not knocking that. I very affectionately call Quay "Q" and "Quayzar."  I'm only saying why not make the names we call our children more... intentional?
I see you snearing your nose. Am I really suggesting we create new names for our kids in order to call them the thing that their personality is missing? YES! Get radical about claiming your kids' future, habits and character. And you may even get stuck with a really weird name. So what! Maybe a celebrity will use it next.

Jesus gave Simon a new name to reflect what he could become, not what what he currently was. Jesus changed Simon's name to Peter which means "rock" and he was ANYTHING BUT a rock. Simon was an impulsive, unpredictable, wishy-washy, loose canon. He cut a man's ear off. He fearlessly climbed out of a boat and walked toward Jesus on the water...until he became full of fear and started to sink. He was hot then cold. Brave then wimpy. This way, then that way. God gave him a name to grow into.

As silly as it may sound I'm so excited to tell you that after calling her Tirion for about an hour, she hit me in Wal-mart and then immediately said sorry and offered me a hug. That's huge! Power in my words huge! God gave us tools to use to access his power. #1, the Bible. #2, the Holy Spirit, #3 our words. What are you speaking out loud over your children? Words of faith or words of circumstance?

Matthew 17:20 “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” "SAY" to this mountain. Not think. Not pray. SAY.

I like this site best for searching by meaning http://www.thinkbabynames.com/